sometimes the ugly parts we see in others, are actually the parts we find most ugly in ourselves.

Sometimes the ugly parts we see in others, are actually the parts we find most ugly in ourselves.

I don't like it when people criticize others' methodologies of parenting but I simply can't deny the gut reaction I had this week. My husband and I were on a flight to Miami for a cruise and were sans kiddos so I think my mama heart was a bit more raw than usual.

There was a couple behind us with a girl about the age of our eldest, two. She was actually doing pretty darn fantastic but on numerous occasions I heard her parents snapping at her. Unfortunately for them, they didn't realize their remarks were audible in at least a 3 row radius thanks to their headphones. Repeatedly I heard and felt the hiss in their voice. And maybe it was just my raw mama heart, but I heard a little bit more of her spirit get crushed with each retort. The fathers words were inciting fear from his little girl. This had become their norm.

It hurt me. Like it physically hurt me. I wanted to turn around and say to them in my most condemning voice, "don't talk to your daughter like that!"  Pull back the reigns mama, totally not my place. But I wanted to tell them they were hurting their little girl. They were crushing her little spirit that was theirs to build.

While I (thankfully) sat quietly I thought to myself, why am I having such an emotional reaction to this? It's not like they were abusing her. In reality, their responses were well within the confines of normal parent behavior.  Why was my heart so sensitive to it?
Then I realized it's because I could see some of myself in those parents.
I've been short. And frustrated. And impatient. I've crushed my daughters brilliant spirit on more than one occasion.

Damn that hurts to write.

I guess sometimes, the ugly parts we see in others are really just a reflection of the parts of ourselves we hate the most. And I hate that part of myself.  But I can use this as a reminder of the kind of parent I want to be. I can be grateful to the people sitting behind me on the plane. Unknowingly they have pushed me to find ways of being patient, loving, slow to respond. Non-reactionary. To find a parenting style that is love-based instead of fear-based. 

To remember to try to see a little bit of myself in those around me.

why magnesium just may be right for you..

Magnesium is something I use frequently in my practice, and in my life.  I've had patients tell me it singlehandedly changed their lives.  But what does this little old element do for people exactly? Well, quite a lot actually. 

First off, there are several formulations of magnesium and the form you're taking could not be more important.  Most magnesium you buy at your local pharmacy is formulated for one simple thing, to help relieve constipation. Hey, I'm not downplaying the miserable nature of this ailment, but you can get more bang for your buck if you invest in a different form. Standard pharmacy magnesium pulls water into your gut allowing a good flush out result but if you buy magnesium citrate , I find it is a perfect balance of pulling water into your gut but more importantly, absorbing into your bloodstream.

This is when things get interesting, when it makes its way to your brain a few remarkable things happen. First off, it promotes the release of GABA, your relaxation neurotransmitter and it blocks glutamate receptors, the excitatory neurotransmitter people with anxiety battle. In short, it works a lot like a valium in these ways. All the while still relieving constipation but in a much more gentle fashion.

So who needs magnesium?  I find most people are deficient and can benefit from it simply because of the lack of well rounded nutrient intake in the foods we eat.  If you have these three symptoms, you can bet you're deficient: anxiety, constipation, and muscle tension. For anxiety, I tell people they can take on an as needed basis, much like they would a valium. It takes around 45 minutes to kick in, lasts 3-4 hours and there's no compromise in cognition like there would be with a valium. Not to mention no risk for addiction. You can even dose multiple times during the day. For insomnia, I have patients take a higher dose about an hour before bed and is excellent for the mid-night awakeners as it only lasts a few hours and if need be, you can still wake up a couple hours later with no significant lasting fatigue. Or the occasional person experiencing restless leg syndrome can certainly benefit. 

Sound to good to be true? Give some a try but brands and formulations do matter. The kind I have had the most success with is Pure Encapsulations Magnesium Citrate and you can find it in the store on my website. 

Be well,

McCall